In The Refrigerator

What's wrong with the Lakers?

What's wrong with the Lakers?  In short, nothing.  Yes, they've lost 4 straight road games including an abysmal, disinterested performance in Charlotte last week.  And they needed Kobe to bail them out for the 6th time this year with a last second shot against Toronto.  But there's no need to panic.  It's the middle of March.  The NCAA tournament hasn't even started yet.  Remember, this is a Laker team that didn't start playing with a sense of urgency until the 4th quarter of the 5th game of the Western Conference Finals last year and still won a championship. 

If you want to understand what's going on, you need to get inside their heads. Here's what I imagine is going on in there:

Pau Gasol - "That is a beautiful view of the Pacific Ocean.  There was nothing like that in Memphis.  Giselle!  I am ready for my massage now..."

Lamar Odom - "We've got to get tough, lay the wood on the other team.  I'm gonna do it myself.  Get tossed, if I... hey, Khloe, what are you doing?  Oooh, that tickles.  Mmmm.  Later bro..."

Andrew Bynum - (while playing Wii): "This is going to MY TEAM someday.  MY TEAM!  Ouch.  I'd better not stamp my foot like that.  It hurts my knee..."

Jordan Farmar - "Man, I don't understand why they don't let ME take the last second shots.  Yeah, I know Kobe's made six of them this year.  But he's missed two!  I wouldn't have missed those two!"

Ron Artest - "                                                    zorp                                                           zwat                                                             zing                                               zappff..."

Derek Fisher - "Oh wow.  What I have I gotten myself into?  I'm going to be the president of the Player's Association when armageddon strikes!"  

Kobe Bryant - "When I retire, I'm gonna buy me a team.  And then I'm gonna hire me to be the GM.  And I ain't drafting no chump like Kwame Brown either.  I'll draft,uh... uh... uh... I'll draft ME!  And I'll be the coach too.  And then I can take ALL THE SHOTS!"

And you wonder why they've lost a few games lately?

If someone pulled a gun in the Lakers' locker room

First of all, let's face it. It would have to be Artest, right? That's obvious. So if Ron pulled a gun:

Pau would mutter under his breath, with European disdain, "los stupidos Americanos" and go back to reading Cervantes.

Drew would say: "Cool! Is that a new wireless controller for the Wii? Can I play?"

Lamar would whip out his Vado HD, start filming, and say: "Chloe is going to looooooovvvvveeee this!"

Fish would throw himself between the gun and Kobe.

Kobe would give Ron his icy stare and say: "You'd better pull the trigger m---er f---er because if you don't, you're never going to touch the ball on the court again."

Of course, none of this would be a problem on the Lakers because Phil would use his Jedi Zen powers to telekinetically remove the gun and then wave his hands to make everyone forget about it.

Just another day at the office for our favorite team.

What Can We Get For Adam Morrison?

It's been a good year so far.  Best record in the league?  Check.  Kobe playing at MVP level?  Check (although his injuries have been a concern).  Pau back from his early season injury, playing great, and signing an extension?  Check.  Andrew Bynum giving himself a shot at the all-star team?  Check (although his recent play has been underwhelming).  Ron Artest blending in on the floor and saying outlandish things to the press off the floor?  Check.  Bench playing great?  Uh, no, actually, not really.

That's been the one thing to worry Laker fans: the play of the bench.  How many times this year have we seen them come in with a big lead only to blow it and force PJ to bring Kobe and Pau back late in the game?  WIth the team winning 85% of their games, it's hard to get too worried, but it does raise the question: what can we do to fix the bench? 

Well, the only tradeable asset we have who isn't playing regularly is Adam Morrison.  Yes, that's right.  Morrison's expiring $5.3 million contract is a desirable chip, especially in these economic times.  So what can we get for him?  I came up with 4 options: financial relief, offense, defense, and sentimentality. 

Financial Relief - it's the reason why expiring contracts are so desirable.  No one has a higher payroll than the Lakers.  The most likely scenario is that the Lakers hold onto Morrison for the remainder of the year and let his contract expire.  They'll replace him with a rookie scale player next year and net pretty close to $5 million in savings ($10 million if you factor in the luxury tax).  If it's your money, that's a pretty attractive scenario.  Since it isn't, here's a couple of more fun scenarios. 

Offense (Jason Kapono, Philadelphia): A straight up deal of Morrison for Kapono works under the cap.  It would be a costly maneuver for the Lakers.  Kapono is owed $6.2 million this year and $6.6 million next year.  The difference in salary between him and Morrison would cost the Lakers an extra $1.25 million in luxury tax at the end of the year.  But man, it would fix the offensive production of the bench!  He's 45% from the 3 point line for his career.  Compare that to Sasha, who's a 38% 3 point shooter for his career.  You could send Kapono out with Lamar, Farmar, Brown, and either Bynum or Gasol and he'd get enough open looks to hit 2 or 3 threes per game.  That would be a big boost to the bench.  It's the role that Sasha is supposed to play, but hasn't this year or last.  Why would the Sixers do the deal, you ask?  Because they're collapsing under the weight of Elton Brand's untradeable contract.  They're going nowhere fast and paying a fortune to get there.  They need financial relief somewhere.  No one is going to take on Brand or Samuel Dalembert.  Why not trade Kapono for Morrison?  For that matter, why not send the Lakers an extra million or two to offset the difference in salaries?  Stranger things have happened...

Defense (Jared Jeffried, NY Knicks): This deal is more complicated.  To make it work under the cap, the Lakers would have to send Morrison, DJ Mbenga, and Josh Powell to the Knicks for Jared Jeffries and Marcus Landry.  That would leave the Lakers under the league minimum of 13 players on their roster so they'd have to go sign a free agent (Mark Madsen?  Chris Mihm?  Maybe even Mbenga or Powell after the Knicks waive one of them...)  Why should the Lakers decimate the end of their bench for a player who's been so maligned for the past few years?  Because Jeffries is a fantastic defender.  He's over-paid and tainted by his association with Isiah Thomas, but he's been showing this year that he can contribute significantly on a good team.  With Jeffries on the second unit, I don't think the Lakers give up big leads any more.  Imagine putting him  on the floor with Bynum and Lamar.  The Lakers would have overwhelming size on both their first and second units.  Why would the Knicks do the deal?  To clear cap space for LeBron and a second max free agent.  It's very hard to imagine anyone taking the far less productive Eddie Curry off their hands.  That leaves Jeffries.  I think the Knicks do this deal if the Lakers offer it. 

Sentimentality (Ronny Turiaf, Golden State): I admit that this one doesn't make a lot of sense basketball-wise.  A straight up trade of Morrison for Turiaf works under the cap.  It would actually save the Lakers some luxury tax this season since Ronny is paid a bit less than Morrison.  But the Lakers would still be paying a lot for Ronny to sit on the bench for the next two years.  That said, it's not my money and Turiaf (like Fisher before him) is meant to be a Laker.  Let's rescue him from the Golden State insane asylum.  I mean, poor Ronny.  You can't blame him for taking the money and promise of playing time from Golden State.  Then, he misses out on the Lakers' championship, doesn't play much anyway, and wakes up in the middle of One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest.  Rescue him, I say.  He'll be our modern version of ML Carr when we beat the Celtics this spring - sitting at the end of the bench, waving a towel with style, and chest bumping his teammates when they come off the floor.  You've got to admit, that has sentimental appeal...  Oh, and why would Golden State do it?  Who the hell knows why Golden State does anything?  Maybe Nellie thinks Adam Morrison would be the perfect center in NellieBall...

Longevity

All of a sudden, Kobe Bryant is an old man.  He's 31.  The savvy old vet relying on cunning and skill.  He's not the skinny, bald uber-athletic teenager who seduced us and frustrated us by jacking up four crunch time airballs against Utah in the playoffs.  Kobe has become a paragon of longevity and (I can hardly believe I'm writing this about a star so polarizing) consistency.  In the mold of Magic, Bird, and MJ, he's the only active member of his draft class to play his entire career for one team.

While Kobe has been the rock of the Lakers, the world has changed around him. On November 5, 1996, when Kobe scored his first professional point (on a free throw), all of the following were true:

• The Dow closed at 6081.
• Bill Clinton was in the White House. 
• George W Bush was the Governor of Texas. 
• A young, little known aspiring politician named Barack Obama was two months shy of being sworn into the State Senate in Illinois.
• A 22 year old White House intern, the President, and a cigar were getting intimately acquainted. 
• Google did not exist and would not for nearly two more years. 
• Mark Cuban, though he was already a millionaire, was not yet a billionaire.  He wouldn't sell Broadcast.com to Yahoo for another 3 years.
• Nobody had heard of social networking or blogging.  Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of Facebook, was 12. 
• Text messaging had just been invented and was sparsely used, primarily by deaf people. 
• The first iPod would not be released for another 5 years. 
• Steve Jobs himself was just triumphantly returning to Apple in the best prodigal son saga in American corporate history. 
• LeBron James was the best 6th grade basketball star in Akron.
• Jeannie Buss had posed nude in Playboy the year before. 
• The music charts were dominated by female vocalists (Alanis Morrisette, Celine Dion, Tracy Chapman, Jewel, Joan Osborn, Sheryl Crow, Toni Braxton, and Kobe's prom date Brandy).
• Madonna had not yet discovered Kabbalah.
• ESPN had not yet launched a web page.
• A 28.8 KB dial-up connection was considered fast. 
• Airline passengers expected free meals on cross-country flights and didn't pay to check baggage!
• Friends was at the height of its popularity and we had just been treated to the sight of Rachel dressing up as Princess Leia.
  

Stand Out, Blend In, and Step Up

The regular season starts tonight.  Thank god!!!  In the absence of any real games, it's been tempting to try to keep up with the Kardashians... or try to understand anything that Ron Artest says.  I mean, if Vlade Radmanovic was "My Favorite Martian", what does that make Ron-Ron?  "Brother From An Alternate Universe?"  ( I haven't come up with a good enough punch line yet.  I'll get back to you when I think of a better one...)  Don't get me wrong.  I love Ron Artest and am thrilled that he's a Laker finally.  It's just that his zany factor is unprecedented.  His dial does't go to 11.  It doesn't even go to 12.  It goes to the square root of -299! 

So thank god the season gets underway today.  There's finally something to talk about that doesn't belong on the front page of TMZ or at a psychiatric convention...

It's going to be a fun season.  How can it not be when your team is favored to repeat as NBA champions?  Barring injuries, the Lakers will come out of the West again.  Yes, San Antonio got a lot better over the summer, Portland is maturing, and it's foolish to ever count out a team led by Chauncy Billups.  But the Lakers are too good to lose to any of them if they're at full strength.  So the Lakers will get a chance to defend their title, probably against Boston.  The question is, will they do it successfully? 

My answer is "YES", as long as  three things happen:

Stand Out, Blend In, and Step Up

Stand Out - It's time for Andrew Bynum to Stand Out.  He's flirted with being an impact player for 2 years. This year, he gets paid like one.  More importantly, the Lakers' chances of being champions depend on it.  With an irrelevant performance from Bynum, the Lakers were able to out class the Orlando Magic.  But if the Celtics had been healthy, they would have been shoved off the court again in the finals.  This year, the Celtics are back and looking fiercer and more motivated than ever.  Bynum is the difference maker.  If he has an impact, I pick the Lakers in 7 over Boston. 

Blend In - Ron-Ron will help, too.  No one ever said that Ron Artest isn't tough in the trenches.  He'll match up well against Paul Pierce and he'll have Kobe's back.  But he's got to stay on the court.  No getting in the face of officials.  No incidents involving fans and beer.  No clotheslining Big Baby.  Ron-Ron needs to Blend In, not be the story himself. 

Step Up - Derek Fisher will play the important minutes in the finals, and he showed last year how clutch he can be.  But someone else in the backcourt needs to Step Up, both during the season, so Fisher can come into the playoffs with something left, and during the Finals, so Fisher doesn't have to check Rajon Rondo for 40 minutes a night.  Jordan Farmar is in a contract year.  Maybe this is the year that he "gets it" and lays claim to the "point-guard of the future" spot.  Maybe it's Shannon Brown.  He's sure got the athletic ability and attitude to step up.  Just search YouTube for his dunk against Mikki Moore in the preseason.  Maybe it's Sasha "The Machine" Vujacic, who was a no-show in last year's finals.  His hair is short, his shooting  percentage was up in the pre-season, and he's a pesky defender.  One of them needs to Step Up and take some of the heat off of Fisher in the backcourt. 

If these three things happen, I'll see you at the Coliseum again next June!

2009 Roster Review

There's nothing quite so satisfying as a sports fan as going into the off-season as champions.  Colors are brighter, desserts are sweeter, and the coffee tastes better.  Let's take a look at the guys who gave us this wonderful gift:

Kobe Bryant - He can wear a crown.  He can carry a scepter.  Hell, he can wear a sun dress.  No one's going to argue anymore.  He's royalty.  And his performance this championship run just shoved Jerry West out of the starting back court on the all-time Laker team.  It's him and Magic.  End of story.  He's a Laker for life.  He'll sign a 3 year extension this summer and we can look forward to the next 5 years as a dominating team. 

Pau Gasol - Best Trade Ever - Kwame Brown for Pau Gasol!  It's like trading George W. Bush for Abraham Lincoln.  Phil called Pau the most skilled big man he's coached.  Sorry Shaq.  You should have learned to shoot free throws and guard the pick and roll. 

Derek Fisher - I don't know what to say.  I'm still too in awe.  D.Fish, we are not worthy!

Trevor Ariza - His stay here was too short.  We should be celebrating Trevor's clutch shooting and 2 series changing steals.  Instead, we're getting hyped about Ron-Ron taking his place.  David Lee, his agent, blew this deal.  Trevor would have been much better off accepting the Lakers MLE offer and winning a few more championships.  On a Rocket team without Tracy McGrady and Yao Ming, the pressure is going to be on  him to be a star.  Let's hope he's up to the task and doesn't fade into a distant memory.  For the Lakers, Artest is an upgrade.  Yes, he's older and nuttier than Trevor, but for the next 3 years, he boosts their chances of winning more championships.  Kobe and Phil will keep him in line (he's not quite as whacko as Dennis Rodman) and during the season, he'll take some of the load off Kobe.  On defense, he can guard the other team's best player.  On offense, occassionally, he can put the team on his back and let Kobe take the night off. 

Lamar Odom - Memo to Laker management: PLEASE re-sign Lamar.  Ron Artest is an upgrade over Trevor Ariza, but a serious downgrade over Trevor and Lamar.  It's tempting to think you don't need Lamar now that you have Ron-Ron.  But don't be seduced by saving $20 million (a guess at Odom's annual salary plus the ensuing luxury tax).  Lamar is the difference between being a champion and being a contender.  He's your hedge against the risk of relying on Andrew Bynum.  With Lamar, you don't absolutely need Andrew Bynum to be a dominating player.  Without him, you do.  Do you want to pin your championship hopes on a 22 year old coming off two injury plagued seasons who hasn't played more than 50 games at an impact level in his life?  Didn't think so.  Re-sign Lamar.    It's smart money.  

Andrew Bynum - The main story line next year is going to be Who Will The Lakers Meet In The Finals: LeBron & Shaq?  Or The Boston Arch-Rivals?  It's going to have two fascinating sub-plots, however.  The first is The Ron Artest Carnival Ride.  That's going to be fun.  Artest will say and do some outlandish things.  I can't WAIT  to see him interact with Vic the Brick.  The other story is going to be Will The Real Andrew Bynum Please Show Up?  Coming off two tantalizing, injury shortened, but ultimately disappointing seasons, he HAS to come up big next year.  The fans, his teammates, the coaching staff, maybe even Laker management, will start to lose confidence in him if he doesn't approach his potential next year.  That's a lot of pressure on a still very, very young man. 

Luke Walton - He won't make the Hall of Fame like his Dad, but he may very well retire with more NBA championships.  He needs one more to tie, two to take the lead. 

Jordan Farmar - Laker point guard of the future?  Or not a Laker?  I wouldn't be completely surprised if the Lakers moved him this summer.  He's got talent, but he's higher maintenance than he should be.  If the Lakers re-sign Shannon Brown, maybe Jordan moves on. 

Sasha Vujacic - Sasha, on the other hand, isn't going anywhere.  Given his contract and his "Oh For The Finals" shooting slump, who's going to take him?  I'm hoping he gets his act together next year.  When he comes in and hits 2 or 3 threes in a game, he makes the Laker bench very effective. 

Shannon Brown - He may never play another game as a Laker, but he's already secured a place in Laker history with his momentum changing dunk in Game 5 of the Denver series.

Josh Powell - How valuable is it to have an 11th man who can sit on the bench for games at a time and still make a solid contribution on the rare occassion when the coach calls his number?  Glad to have him back next year...

DJ Mbenga - Go out and buy a "Banging with Mbenga" t-shirt.  It'll be a collectible someday. 

Adam Morrison - He'll be on the roster next year, but may not get off the bench. In fact, he may be most valuable as a trade asset near the trading deadline.  He'll be making a bit more than $5 million in the last guaranteed year of his rookie contract.  

Sun Yue - If the Lakers re-sign Shannon Brown, look for them to cut ties with Sun Yue this summer.  His deal isn't guaranteed next year and they only want to carry 13 players on the roster to save money.  Releasing Sun saves them close to $1.5 million in salary and luxury tax. 

Please, Sir, Can I Have Some More?

Like a starving orphan who's just had his first taste of a home cooked meal, I want more.  One freakin' championship just isn't enough to satisfy me.  I want another and another and another.  And I'll say or do just about anything to get what I want... 

It's all well and good that Kobe won a title without Shaq.  But really, to secure his legacy, doesn't he need to win more without Shaq than he did with him?  And let's talk about Michael Jordan.  MJ won 3 in row twice in his career.  If Kobe can win the next 3 years in a row, he'll have one upped MJ - both on the overall total (7 vs 6) and on the longest consecutive streak (4 vs 3).  Let's go Kobe.  Let's go Lakers. You can do it! 

To start, Dr. Buss needs to shell out a huge amount of money to keep both Lamar and Trevor while still re-signing Kobe to a max 5 year deal.  I don't even want to think about how much money this will cost but, hey, let's face it, it's not my money, so I'm all for spending it! 

Next, Phil needs to come back.  You can bash Phil as much as you like for not being like other coaches, but you can't argue with success.  With this team intact and Phil at the helm, who's going to bet against them to repeat next year?

Finally, Andrew Bynum needs to go all of next season without getting injured.  Other teams are going to be better next year and the Lakers need to improve to stay ahead of them.  The improvement has to come from the Lakers' young players.  They aren't going to have money to spend on free agents aside from their own and they're picking too late in the draft to get a player who'll have an immediate impact.  But if Bynum can play all season and return to his pre-injury performance level from each of the past two years, the Lakers will be much improved.  That's got to be a scary thought for the rest of the association! 

A fish with wings

If Kobe Bryant is a basketball god, Derek Fisher is a basketball angel. He isn't tall. He isn't fast. And he's not exceptionally athletic. But nonetheless, he possesses a streak of the divine that shines through in big moments, on big stages.

I never thought he'd top the .4 second shot against the Spurs. It didn't propel the Lakers to a championship, but it was still the most amazing game saving shot I've seen. Until Game 4 against the Magic... How many players have the courage to take a game saving 3 after missing their first 5 attempts? Especially after having missed a similar opportunity in the previous series? Then, to hit the dagger in overtime. Unbelievable.

I've said before that you can't under-estimate the importance of Fisher's return to the Lakers. It's only been with Fish at his side that Kobe has become The One True Kobe. He's someone that Kobe respects, that Kobe trusts to shoot when the game's on the line, who has the character to ignore Kobe when he demands the ball to the detriment of the team. My guess is Fish will finish out his contract next year (hopefully earning his 5th ring) and then move to the bench as an assistant.

Derek Fisher won't be voted into the Hall
Of Fame. Nor should he. He's a role player, not a great player. But if ESPN were on the ball, they'd add Fish's game 4 heroics to the animated playoff highlights they show at the start of the broadcast. Fish has earned a spot in the pantheon of great playoff performers.

What Really Goes On Inside The Lakers' Brain

Inspired by their Game 2 loss at home against Denver:

WE ARE GODS - BOW DOWN BEFORE US!

WE PLAY IN HOLLYWOOD, BEYONCE THINKS WE'RE CUTE - BOW DOWN BEFORE US!

JACK IS OUR #1 FAN - BOW DOWN BEFORE US!

HEY, WHAT'S THE OTHER TEAM DOING?  THAT'S NOT BOWING!

HEY, WHAT ARE WE DOING?  IF WE DON'T START PLAYING, WE MAY BE CLIPPERS NEXT YEAR!

WHOO - THAT WAS CLOSE, BUT NOW WE ARE GODS AGAIN - BOW DOWN BEFORE US!

<repeat forever>

They Should Have Won By 50.

That was disappointing. The Lakers had a chance to break the backs of their undermanned, gutty opponent - the Houston Rockets.  Leading by 40 going into the 4th quarter, they failed to extend the lead.  Instead, in a replay of the alarming trend that's plagued them all year, the team gave away a large lead as the Rockets closed the gap to under 30 before a late Laker push resulted in a marginal 118-78 victory. 

Dejected fans puzzled through their team's disappointing performance as they pushed back through the Staples Center turnstiles.  A prominent courtside ticket holder offered up this commentary: "The Lakers absolutely must find a way to defend small, quick guards.  Hey, isn't Allen Iverson a free agent this summer?" 

Andrew Bynum started in place of the purportedly injured Lamar Odom and put up an underwhelming 14 and 6 against the Rockets 6' 6" starting center.  It's hard to imagine Laker fans settling for less than the 30-20 numbers Shaq put up when he and Kobe led the team on its three-peat earlier this decade.  The oft-injured Bynum is, after all, promoted as the best young center of his generation.  

Addressing his team's failure to break the back of their opponents after the game, a subdued Bryant tipped his cap to the Rockets: they're "not some chump team", he said.  Perhaps the best performance by a Laker last night came from Adam Morrison.  Sitting at the end of the bench in street clothes, Morrison managed to hold back his tears as the Lakers gave away yet another large 4th quarter lead. 

Next up is Game 6 in Houston.  The Lakers had better figure a few things out before Thursday if they hope to prevail in a manner that will appease their fans.  The heart of a champion still beats strong under Rockets Red, but does it beat under the Purple and Gold Armor?

A Texas Sized Wake Up Call

A funny thing happened on the way to the Lakers' championship parade.  The team ran into Yao Ming, Ron Artest, and the rest of the Houston Rockets.  I'm not sure if you could hear it where you were watching, but in the quiet suburbs north of downtown LA, the warm spring air was filled with the sound of a giant "splat".  It was the sound of Kobe running into Yao Ming's chest.  It was the sound of the Lakers' 3 point shots bricking off the rim.  It was the sound of the Lakers' cries of frustration as the Rockets got all the calls down the stretch.  Most of all, it was the sound of the Lakers' over-confidence bursting out of its bubble. 

Tomorrow's papers will be filled with "the sky is falling" laments of Laker fans. Hell, if we freaked when the team lost a game to Utah in Salt Lake City, imagine the reaction to giving away home court advantage.  I have a different reaction, however.  "Game ON!"  Let's face it.  Teams that win championships do so because they overcome adversity. If this Laker team is going to mature into a championship team, it needs to be battle tested - like last year's Celtics team.

Utah didn't help. The Jazz just reinforced the Lakers' belief in their own manifest destiny. Show up, overwhelm your opponent with offensive firepower, and breeze to the parade down Olympic Blvd. This Laker team needs the Rockets. They need a team to take them to 7 games, to challenge them, push them around, and force them to win ugly if they're going to win at all.

The Lakers didn't play well tonight. They were slow and out of sync. Kobe took a lot of shots. Pau and Lamar never got untracked, Drew got in foul trouble, and their 3 point shooting was lousy. If they come back with more defensive intensity, get their big men involved, and shoot a higher percentage, they'll come back strong on Wednesday. Let's hope this loss was the Texas sized wake up call this team needed. Because if they under-estimate the Rockets again at Staples Center, it's going to be a long, unhappy summer in the city of angels.

Doomsday

There are locusts on Olympic Blvd, swarming toward Staples Center. The Lakers lost their second straight game and dropped further behind Cleveland in the race for the league's best record.

Frogs are croaking in El Segundo where Andrew Bynum is working out, futilely trying to ready his knee to save a season that's already lost.

There are gnats in Manhattan Beach where Sasha Vujacic is frantically trying to regain the ability to throw a pea in the ocean.

There's hail raining down on the basketball court at Sports Club LA where Magic Johnson is still the best point guard in the city (sorry BD).

And Vic The Brick is breaking out in incurable boils as the Lakers have lost The Way and look more like the Washington Generals than VTB's precious Bushido warriors.

It's the end of days. Two straight road losses. Cleveland gets home court in the Finals. Doomsday. The Lakers lose game 7 in Cleveland. LeBron sweeps the holy trinity - league MVP, Finals MVP, and NBA Champion. Kobe opts out this summer and signs with a club in Moscow for a bazillion dollars. It's the end of the world as we know it. All because The Lakers lost two straight on the road to teams they should have beat.

You think I'm panicking? Hell, yeah! I'm a Laker fan and that's what we do. Never mind that every other team in the league that's not Cleveland or Boston would kill to have our problems. Doomsday is here and all is lost.

Lamar The Conqueror

I was going to write about a few bizarre trade ideas. You know, the type of Internet chatter that's fun to read and write but has no connection to reality. Lamar's expiring contract is a valuable asset, after all, and Mitch proved last year that he can turn such things into gold. I was going to call it Mid-Season Heist, the Reprise.

Here's a sample:

How about trading Lamar to the 76ers for Elton Brand? They've regretted signing EB almost since day 1. Imagine a power rotation of Drew, Pau, and EB. Try not to think of the luxury tax implications.

Don't like that one? Let's bring in Rasheed Wallace instead. The triangle is friendly to bigs who can shoot. The chemistry in Detroit is on the fritz. Maybe they'd do the deal to improve their locker room.

Or maybe the Jazz would part with Carlos Boozer for Lamar. I wouldn't be surprised if they'd like to make room for Paul Milsap. Jack Haley would be thrilled. His broadcasting career has never recovered from misreporting an Odom for Boozer swap several years ago.

Then there's Jermaine O'Neil. It hasn't happened for him in Toronto. Maybe they'd take Lamar and Vlade.

All of these deals work under the cap. And until this last FANTASTIC road trip, I would have urged Mitch to work his magic. But not now. Mellow LO let his alter-ego loose in the Boston and Cleveland games. None of these trades, even if they made sense financially, would make the Lakers a better team than they are when Lamar becomes "Lamar the Conqueror". If Lamar plays like he played last weekend for the rest of the season, the Lakers will a) win the championship with or without Bynum; and b) re-sign Lamar this off-season and make him a member of the Laker-for-life club. Of course, this isn't the first time Lamar has teased us with his potential for greatness, so don't be surprised if Lamar The Conqueror goes back into hibernation this week to be replaced by Mellow LO. If so, the Lakers will, quite rightly, let him walk this summer as a free agent.

These are the good old days!

And tomorrow we might not be together

I'm no prophet and I don't know nature's way

So I'll try and see into your eyes right now

And stay right here... cause these are the good old days!

- Carly Simon

In the life of a sports fan, great teams don't come around very often. Picture a 6 year old boy getting his first taste of greatness with the Joe Namath NY Jets. Well that little boy is well into his middle age and still waiting for the Jets to be great again. Oh, they tease every once in a while like they did this year. But the tease only serves as a reminder of how rare the real thing is.

Breathe deep Laker fans. This is a great team we're watching. Enjoy every moment. This team has everything: chemistry, a global superstar in his prime (Kobe), a man-child blossoming into a star (Drew), a consumate all-star (Pau), a set of good guys willing to play their roles (Luke, Sasha, Vlade, Lamar), athletes (Trevor, Jordan), and an inspirational leader (D Fish). What more can we ask for? A championship, of course. But that's coming. In the meantime, every game of this journey is a blessing. The premature demise of the ShaKobe Lakers should have taught us how fragile greatness can be. So stay right... cause these are the good old days!

Finally - the season starts

Uh oh - this just in. The Lakers need to do more than show up to win. They sustained a 70 win pace through the first quarter of the season by doing little more than that. Superior talent, a favorable schedule, and one good run a game was enough. But not anymore. 2 games into a 4-game-in-5-night road trip and the Lakers are winless, Jordan Farmar is injured, Andrew Bynum was trivialized by the more mature Dwight Howard, and obviously the sky is falling! In my last post, I claimed that front offices put NBA teams in a position to win championships. Well, they do. But the players have to actually do it on the court. With the exception of the first few games of the season, the Lakers have played like the preseason predictions are already ptrue. Guess what? The Lakers have dropped out of the league's elite class. The Celtics, Cavs, and Magic are all clearly better than the Lakers right now. Fortunately, it's a long season and championships aren't won in December. A tough road trip is just what the Lakers needed. They have lessons to learn, but it's hard for the lessons to stick when the team wins despite their mistakes. A couple of hard to swallow losses should get their attention. Now that the Lakers have some adversity to face, the season finally starts for real.

Championships are won by the front office

There's an old saying in business that goes something like this: if strategy is pointing you off a cliff, execution can do no more than slow your fall. Phil Jackson is arguably the greatest coach of all-time, but give him Kwame Brown in the pivot and Smush Parker at the point, and see if he wins you a ring!

Championships are won by the front office. Sure the players have to execute, the coaches have to manage, and a few balls have to bounce your way (e.g. Robert Horry's dagger in Sacramento's heart). But each year, only a few teams have the potential to win it all, and it's the front office that gives them that potential.

Danny Ainge did it for the Celtics last year. Acquiring Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen to team with Paul Pierce was a serious display of front office mojo. Backing it up with deals for James Posey, Sam Cassell, and PJ Brown sealed the deal.

The Lakers are tearing up the league this season. Thank you, Mitch Kupchack! By drafting and keeping Andrew Bynum, signing Derek Fisher while letting Smush Parker bolt for distant lands, and best of all, transmuting Kwame Brown into Pau Gasol, Mitch has proven to be a front office alchemist, capable of keeping the Lakers in title contention for years to come.

Two other teams deserve mention for their off-season moves. Danny Ferry of the Cleveland Cavaliers added a major piece in Mo Williams. It was a 3 team deal and he gave up next to nothing (Damon Jones & Joe Smith). With Williams posing a legit second threat on the floor, LeBron is off to an MVP start and the Cavs are set to give the Celtics a run for their money.

Daryl Morey, Houston's young, stat-minded GM, pulled the trigger on a deal for Ron Artest this summer and managed to retain Shane Battier in the process. Artest has teamed with Yao and T-Mac to form a 1-2-3 punch that's the envy of every city not named Boston or LA. When Battier returns from injury, he'll step into the rotation as 6th man. If your team is so loaded with talent that Shane Battier is your 6th man, you're going to win a lot of games. Just not enough to beat the team with Lamar Odom as 6th man!

If you're a fan, get to know your team's GM. He's the one to thank if your team is in the hunt come June!

The Lakers Hollywood Premiere

The Lakers are back to being the Lakers: they’re the preseason favorites to win the NBA championship.  Hallelujah!  Anything less and this season will be deemed a failure...  by the fans, by the pundits, and most importantly, by Kobe.  He’s got an opt-out in his contract this summer and anything’s possible.  I heard an Internet rumor that the Treasury department has $750 billion to offer Kobe if he’ll come work for them…

So what’s it going to take for this team to live up to its great expectations?  Aside from the givens (Kobe playing like the One True Kobe and the team avoiding any devastating injuries), three movie-inspired plot lines will control this team’s destiny:

1) Walking Tall starring Andrew Bynum

For a magical 15 games last season, Andrew Bynum looked like the league’s next dominant big man.  Clogging the lane, altering shots, scoring from the low post.  He gave the Lakers the missing piece to their championship equation.  Then he got injured.  This year, he needs to walk tall and show that he’s all grown up.  And he needs to do it for a lot more than 15 games.   Put simply – that’s the season.  If it doesn’t happen, nothing else really matters.  Sure, the Lakers can make it to the Finals again, but will the result be different than last year?  Not likely without Sheriff Drew policing the lane. 

2) The Sixth Sense starring Lamar Odom

Trying to predict which Lamar is going to show up on any given night can be a whole lot like deciphering an M. Night Shyamalin movie.  Now that Lamar’s coming off the bench, will he embrace the 6th Man Extraordinaire role with passion?  While the starters are on the floor, Lamar needs to watch the game and sense what the team needs on that night.  He’s capable of doing it all – scoring, distributing, rebounding, ball handling…  He can make the All-Star team as the Lakers’ 6th man.  Or he can be gone by the trading deadline.  Which way will it play?  It’s a mystery.

3) Young Guns II featuring Jordan Farmar, Sasha Vujacic, and Trevor Ariza

The Bench Mob, led by Farmar and Vujacic, energized the team last year.  The two young guards leapt forward in their careers and turned themselves into gun slinging game changers.  If they can elevate their games again this year, along with Trevor Ariza who teased us before his injury last year, the Lakers’ second unit is going to win a lot of shootouts with rival gangs. 

The season premieres tonight!

The Summer Of Love!

For me, it was the summer of love because of my beautiful twin daughters!  I happily set aside my Laker obsession and enjoyed watching and helping them navigate their way through their second six months of life.  Here they are, Sage is on the left, Shanti on the right:

Meanwhile, it was the Summer of Love for the Lakers.  No hint of the melodrama of the past.  Kobe loves the Lakers.  The Lakers love Kobe.  The world loves Kobe.  Kobe loves the world, especially China.  LeBron loves Kobe, or at least wants to be like him.  Kobe loves Pau, especially after Team USA kicked Spain's butts (not so much after Spain played them close in the gold medal game).  Pau loves Andrew.  Andrew loves Pau.  The Lakers love Lamar, even if they would have traded him in a hearbeat for Mr. Super Nutter Butter (Ron Artest), who thankfully landed in Houston.  Jeannie loves Phil.  The Lakers love Sasha.  Sasha loves the Lakers.  Everyone loves Ronny, just not enough to pay him $4 million per.  Heck, they even love DJ Mbenga who's back for a second chance.  Love, love, love.  All you need is love. I'm feeling downright psychadelic this fall. 

The summer was so absent the usual controversy, the media had to manufacture some of their own so they'd have something to talk about.  Guess what?  For $50 million per year, Kobe would consider leaving the NBA to play overseas.  Now there's news.  Who wouldn't take $50 million, tax-free, to spend a year abroad?  I would.  You would.  So would Kobe.  Big whoop.  It's not news.  It's not anything.  Just sports talk radio chatter.  Kobe isn't leaving the NBA until he's won one more championship than Shaq.  Starting in a few weeks, we'll see if he's going to catch up to Shaq this year!  Let the obsession resume...

Give Elton Brand a Break

I'm a bit shocked to find myself writing about the Clippers, but the Elton Brand fiasco really has been captivating. I listened to both Elton and Mike Dunleavy on talk radio this week. They both sounded so sincere and passionate that I believe them both. Dunleavy feels betrayed. Brand feels disrespected. I can only conclude that other players behind the scenes poisoned this pond. And it's a shame. Brand and Baron Davis would have made the Clippers contenders. A true cross locker room rivalry would have been good for this town.

But it's time to let this go. Elton Brand didn't do anything wrong. He never asked to be a Clipper. He was traded from Chicago. He signed and offer sheet with the Heat when he was a restricted free agent. He begged the Clips to let him go. They matched and he came back and didn't complain. How would you feel being the face of the NBA equivalent of the franchise from purgatory? Brand endured for longer than any other Clipper star. Let him go. Wish him well. And light a little candle for Baron Davis.

Roster Review

There's something perverse in human nature that attracts us to disaster stories.  For example, The Towering Inferno is still one of my favorite movies of all time.  It's the only way I can understand Clipper fans.  Why else would you subject yourself to decade after decade of heartbreak?  Elton Brand and Baron Davis teased them with a week of relevance, then Brand sucker punched them and left for Philadelphia.  LA is assured of being the Lakers' town with the Clippers remaining just a freakish sideshow for their disaster enthralled fans.  Had Brand stayed, things could have got interesting next year... 

The Lakers roster is solid going into the off-season and if I had my way, they'd bring the same team back next year.  As events are unfolding, it looks like that won't happen.  Here's a review of the roster: 

May be playing somewhere else next year

• Ronny Turiaf - there are now published reports that Ronny will sign a 4 year $17 million offer sheet with the Warriors.  I don't see the fit here from a basketball standpoint.  The Warriors already have Andris Biedrins, Al Harrington, and Brandan Wright.  But you can't argue with the money.  I'm guessing Ronny signed the offer hoping, praying even, that the Lakers would match.  But I don't see it happening.  With the Lakers so deep into the luxury tax, they'd have to pay $8 million+ per year to keep him.  There are going to be less expensive options out there that will give the Lakers close to what Ronny gives them. 
• Sasha Vujacic - Sasha appears to be playing a wait and see game with free agency.  There haven't been any published reports that I've seen of any offers on the table.  I'd guess that he'll get a decent offer once the first round of free agents signs.  I'm hoping the Lakers match.  It would be a shame to lose both Ronny and Sasha.  Basketball aside, those two guys give the Lakers bench a lot of
  its personality. 
• Lamar Odom - The Lamar for Ron Artest rumors are starting to heat up.  The Sacramento Bee reported today that the Lakers have offered Lamar for Artest.  Gavin Maloof was on The Loose Cannons talk radio show last week and wouldn't go any further than to say that "Ron Artest is a member of the Sacramento Kings".  Now there's a ringing endorsement!  You gotta figure the Kings will do just about anything to get rid of Artest.  On the other hand, you gotta figure that the Kings *hate* the Lakers and will do just about anything to send Artest anywhere else.  The Lakers may be willing to send them Lamar and take back the bloated contract of Kenny Thomas, but I'm not sure  Lamar fits into the Kings' long term plans.  They may hold out for a promising young player and I think that will be too steep for the Lakers. Anyway, as a fan, I'd love to give Lamar a chance to play with Bynum and Gasol.  We can always trade him at the trade deadline if it doesn't work out.  Some team will jump at his huge expiring contract.  And let's face it, Artest is a head case of the highest order.  I've got plenty to write about without him.

You may wish they were playing somewhere else next year

• Luke Walton - I don't expect Luke to go anywhere.  He's a great triangle player.  Phil loves him.  He's a good citizen.  And his contract makes him virtually untradeable.  Assuming Lamar, or someone they get for Lamar starts at small forward, Trevor Ariza is likely to be the first small forward of the bench.  That means Luke is going to have to fight hard next season for playing time.   If he can re-gain the shooting touch that he showed at the start of last season (when he led the league in 3 point shooting percentage for a stretch), he can be a valuable member of the bench MOB.
•  Vladimir Radmanovic - The man who writes the checks probably wants to send our favorite martian back to space, but Phil appears to be a believer.  Since Vlade's contract is just about untradeable and the Lakers need shooters, he'll be back next year.  Mark Jackson, the TV commentator during the Finals TV broadcast had an insightful comment on Vlade.  He said (paraphrasing): "I played with players like Radmanovic.  They keep both teams in the game."

The solid core

• Kobe Bean Bryant - He's saying all the right things this offseason.  Expect him to win the MVP again next year and this time, pair it up with an NBA title and Finals MVP award, provided that... (see next). 
• Andrew Bynum - The biggest question mark going into next season is going to be: "is Andrew Bynum for real?"  If he is, the above will be true, Drew will sign a near max deal, and the Lakers will be the story of the NBA for the next five years.  If he isn't, well, Kobe still has an opt-out next summer.  Better hope he doesn't pull an Elton Brand on us!
• Pau "wow" Gasol - I love him and he isn't soft.  In the finals, he was a power forward playing out of position at center.  Yes, he was over-matched, but Andrew Bynum will change everything for Pau.  Next year, we'll get to see just how multi-talented and valuable Pau Wow is.  
• Derek Fisher - When he retires, the Lakers need to make him an assistant coach.  As long as Kobe is in LA, LA needs Fish.  I've said it before, Kobe only becomes The One True Kobe when Derek Fisher has his back.
  
• Jordan Farmar - If Sasha goes elsewhere, I'd like to see Jordan start next year.  If Sasha stays, I'd like to see him stay a reserve.  The energy that he and Sasha brought to the game coming off the bench together was a joy to see.  Who knew Jordan would be for real?
• Trevor Ariza - I can't *wait* to see what he can do if he stays healthy for a whole year.  Swapping him for Brian Cook and Mo Evans may end up being one of the better deals in Laker history.

The fringe

• Chris Mihm - He exercised his player option to stay for one more season.  He's such a great guy, and a serviceable center, that I'd like to see him have success next year.  Perhaps if Ronny leaves, Mihm will get some more minutes next season.  Best guess, though, he plays a bit part and then leaves in free agency next summer. 
• Cobey Karl - I think the drafting of Joe Crawford is a pretty good sign that Cobey's Laker career is one and done. 
• DJ Mbenga - It's not out of the question that Mbenga re-signs if he's willing to work cheap enough.  
• Ira Newble - It's fantastic to see an athlete with social consciousness.  If only Newble had hooked up with the Lakers earlier in his career, he could have used playing for a large market team as a platform for his message about Darfur.  Sadly, he's not in their plans and is unlikely to be back.

The Morning After

Well, that was a lot to digest.  To set the context, in case anyone reads this a year from now, the Lakers were blown out last night by the Celtics in a decisive Game 6 in Boston.  Thank god for TiVo.  I was able to fast forward through the miserable second half and spare myself the suspense of wondering whether the Lakers would suffer the worst defeat in Finals history.  A few late baskets by Jordan, Luke, and Sasha salvaged that little shred of Laker dignity.  Poor Laker players.  They really needed that remote control from the Adam Sandler movie Click so they could have fast forwarded. Anything to avoid the utter embarrassment  they must have felt living through that massacre on the court. 

Now it's the morning after, and as I said, there's a lot to digest.  Just how good is this Laker team?  They sure looked fantastic in the regular season after Pau arrived.  They beat the defending champion Spurs in 5.  That's gotta count for something.  But they're clearly not a championship team.  Look in the dictionary under champions and you'll see a picture of the Celtics: gritty, unselfish veterans, hearts beating to the rafters, superb team defense, and enough offensive fire power to win.  That doesn't sound like this Laker team. 

How good will Andrew Bynum be when he gets back?  Is Lamar Odom worth $15 million per year?  How much is Sasha worth on the open market?  Can Bynum and Gasol play together?  Are the Laker big men really made out of Carvel ice cream?  As always, there are lots story lines going into the off season and I'm sure I'll have more to say later. 

For now, though, there's really only one thing that truly matters: how will Kobe react to the embarrassing defeat?  He's been lauded all season long for his leadership and maturity. Well, the true test of leadership is how you respond to adversity.  It's easy enough to take your teammates to dinner and buy them $10,000 watches when things are going well.  Let's see what Kobe does this summer.  That will tell us if he really, truly has grown into the leader we all need him to be.

Will he:

1. Go on every talk radio station in the country and publicly demand that Pau Gasol and Lamar Odom spend their summers at Johns Hopkins receiving heart transplants?
2. Quietly call Danny Ainge and ask to be traded to the Celtics?
3. Stand by "his guys"?

The Lakers have the talent to compete for a championship every year for the next 5 years.  Let's hope the answer is #3.  I couldn't stomach it if Curt Schilling were right!

The Most Impressive Stat of the Year

Last night, Kobe Bryant put up the most impressive stat of the year, maybe even of his whole career (except for his 81 point game).  In the decisive 4th quarter against the Jazz, in the pivotal game 5, with the season hanging in the balance, Kobe shot 0 for 0 from the floor.  That's right, in the most important quarter of the most important game of the season, Kobe didn't take a field goal.  And the Lakers won! 

The Lakers won because Kobe put the ultimate faith in his teammates, trusting them to make the big shots, and they rewarded him with a victory.  He even kept passing to Sasha who was a miserable 1 for 11 from the field.  Sasha kept shooting because he knew Kobe (and Phil Jackson) trusted him. Sasha will bounce back from his off night whereas in the past, he would have wilted into the background for the rest of the season.  Trust breathes life into people.  Last night, Kobe was the team's lungs. 

The only player who can stop Kobe, is Kobe (sorry Ruben Patterson).  When your body is so physically gifted, and you can do more than anyone else, it's so tempting to do more than even you can do.  Think of the Lakers disappointing overtime loss in Game 4.  When Kobe plays within himself, when he doesn't stop himself, he's an unstoppable force - even if that means taking no shots and simply creating the space for his teammates to shine.  Kobe was as much the MVP in the 4th quarter last night has he ever was throughout the season.  As a Laker fan, all I can say is, I hope this lasts! 

Youth is wasted on the young

Kobe Bryant won the MVP award last night.  Congratulations, Kobe.  You truly, truly deserve it.  This morning, I'm proud to be a Laker fan and a Kobe Bryant fan. 

People talk ad nauseum about what the award means.  Do you give it to the league's best player?  Or perhaps the best player on the best team?  People talk about what would happen to a team if you removed the MVP candidate e.g. imagine how horrible the Cavs would be without LeBron.  And please, may I never hear the expression "he makes his teammates better" ever again.  It's become the most over used cliche in basketball. 

Kobe Bryant won the award for one reason and one reason only.  He finally grew up this year.  He finally completed the tortured, agonizing, embarrassingly public journey from adolescent phenom to grown man.  In a league full of super-rich, super-talented, post-adolescent knuckleheads (Zach Randolph anyone?), Kobe Bryant now stands apart.  He's added maturity to his arsenal of weapons... and that's what makes him MVP.  He's always been all about winning.  Now he knows how.  He's been the league's most talented player for years.  Now he's putting that talent to good use. 

Kobe is 29 years and 10 months old.  He's been in the league for 12 years.  For 11+ years he's been growing up.  I'm going to write David Stern a letter and propose that the NBA raise the minimum age limit to 28.  Let's force the knuckleheads to grow up before we have to watch them - before we have to invest in them emotionally.  You want to clean up the league?  Get rid of the DUI's, illegal weapon possessions, and illegitimate children?  Look at what a little maturity has done for Kobe!  Let 'em play in the D-league untilt they're 28!  How true it is that youth is wasted on the young...

How it should have ended

Staples Center.  Game 7.  Western Conference Finals.  Shaquille O’Neal, super-sized in every way, lumbers to center court to jump center against Pau Gasol.  He and Kobe fist bump.  It’s the beginning of the end of the Shaq / Kobe rivalry – the story line of the decade here in Los Angeles. 

Fast forward to the end of the first overtime period.  The Suns are up by 2 points and Shaq is at the free throw line.  If he makes both free throws, the Suns are Western Conference champions.  More importantly, he’ll have the last laugh on Kobe.  If he makes at least one, the Lakers will have to hit a 3 point shot to force a second overtime.  The first shot goes through - nothing but net.  The entire arena is shocked, no one more than Shaq himself.  The second shot goes up.  It hits the back of the rim.  The crowd is so silent, you can hear a pin drop. The ball bounces off the front of the rim high in the air.  It looks like it might go in, but glances off the side of the rim and into Lamar Odom’s waiting grasp.  The Lakers call timeout. 

Everyone in the arena, actually everyone in the solar system, knows that Kobe Bryant is going to take the last shot.  They need a 3 pointer to force a second overtime.  It’s desperation time for the Lakers.  Luke Walton throws the in-bound pass unexpectedly to Pau Gasol. He fakes a shot and then manages to kick it out to Kobe behind the 3 point line.  Since this is my fantasy, Shaq runs out and fouls Kobe as he shoots.  The shot goes in (of course) and Kobe makes the free throw to win – game, set, match. 

Now that would have been a bang.  Instead, we get the whimper. 

The Suns go down in the first series to the Spurs 3 to 1.  The rumor is that Mike D’Antoni will lose his job.  Shaq has two years left on his deal, but will miss more games than he’ll play as he winds down his career in Phoenix.  The run and gun Suns will spend the next several years searching for a new identity, all in the quiet shadow of the ascendant Lakers dynasty. 

But wait.  This is the type of story that never dies.  Fast forward 20 years.  Kobe Bryant is driving a little too fast up the 405 in his drop top Impala.  He pulls over when he hears the siren.  The policeman who saunters up to his car is 7’ 1” and grinning ear to ear…

Redemption

Flash back to July 18, 2003.  Kobe Bryant, at the nadir of a controversial public life, sits at a press conference at Staples Center, with his wife Vanessa at his side, and admits that he committed adultery while she was at home taking care of their baby daughter.  He denies the sexual assault charges, but the damage is done.  The public confession of adultery is bad enough.  Bryant, who has always been poised, articulate and hyper-confident, stammers through the press conference, appearing confused, uncertain and afraid.  Certainly not the Kobe we have all come to know. 

During this unbelievably difficult era in Bryant’s public life, he endured constant ridicule at the hands of Denver Nugget fans each time he came to the Pepsi Center (the alleged sexual assault occurred in Eagle, Colorado about 120 miles from Denver).   

Last night, that all changed.  When Bryant left the floor in the final two minutes of the Lakers’ convincing victory over the hapless Nuggets, the Denver fans gave him a shockingly loud ovation. He’s been hearing “M-V-P” chants all across the country this year, but this was special.  This was Denver, Colorado. 

Kobe Bryant is back, rebuilt, better than before.  This new Kobe is more mature, more real, more human, and more appealing than ever before.  Eagle, Colorado is now just a footnote in the long saga of an American hero.