I dreamt the other night that I was Mitch Kupchack and I was on vacation. Instead of going somewhere tropical and sipping iced drinks with little paper umbrellas, I traveled to Kansas. I have no idea why… I was standing in a corn field – the stalks gently swaying in the wind - muttering under my breath. I couldn’t make out what I was saying. A stream of 4 letter words perhaps? I’m almost certain one of them was “KOBE”. All of a sudden, the wind picked up and started to swirl. I looked skyward in fear as objects started to fly overhead. A cow. Paula Abdul. Kevin Garnett… I ran, but the tornado caught up to me and sucked me into its vortex. The last thing I remember seeing before passing out was David Stern’s head on Michael Jordan’s body…
When I woke up, I was in a parking lot with a large yellow school bus. All of the Lakers were there, milling around with their gym bags, iPods, and cell phones. When he saw me, Jerry Buss headed over, a Doublemint twin draped on each arm. “Mitch, my boy. I’ve figured out how to make us champions again. We’re off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz”. As my jaw gaped open, Dr. Buss cackled and wandered away while the Doublemint twins sang “because, because, because, because… because of the wonderful things he does!”
I looked in front of the bus and there was a yellow brick road. This was going to be a strange journey…
Derek Fisher - holding a clipboard and bullhorn and looking for all the world like a male, African American version of Julie, the tour guide from the Love Boat – was herding the other players toward the bus. I thought I overhead Luke Walton whine something about waiting for Britney Spears. Vic the Brick, dressed in a clown costume, handed the players animal balloons and greeted each one with his signature “Feelin’ you!”
“Mitch”, Fish said. “Get in line. Right there after Kobe”. I was glad I signed D.Fish in time for this dream. Without him, the Lakers would still be milling around that damn parking lot. I was in line between Kobe and Kwame. As Kobe got on, I heard the driver say: “All work and no play makes Kobe a dull boy…” When it was my turn, I saw that the bus driver was none other than Jack Nicholson, hiding his face behind enormous Raybans. “Kupchak – you can’t handle the truth!” I hurried on by…
As I walked down the aisle, Nicholson’s sardonic voice greeted Kwame with “get me a grilled cheese, hold the cheese… and DON’T DROP IT!” I took a seat next to Jim Buss, whose head was buried in a “Basketball for Dummies” book. The door closed. The bus engines roared and the parking lot was empty, except for Smush Parker wearing a Heat jersey and holding up a sign that said “I (heart) Dwyane Wade”.
When was I going to wake up?
“Ommmmmm”. Phil was in back of the bus trying to get the players to meditate. Only Jordan Farmar was joining in. He switched to the Buddhist chant “Nam Myoho Renge Kyo” but it came out sounding like “Oh Money Pad Me Wallet”. That caught the players attention. Soon, the whole lot of them were shouting “Oh Money Pad Me Wallet, Oh Money Pad Me Wallet”. I don’t think I’ve ever seen our team so unified. Phil Jackson really is a genius.
A loud crash interrupted the din. “Ah shit” shouted Kobe, “Nicholson fell asleep at the wheel. We just ran over a big dude in a lion costume - looks like a cross between Shaq and The Lion King”.
Fisher took charge immediately. “Drew, come with me. Let’s see if the guy’s ok.” I opened my window so I could hear what was happening.
D.Fish: “Hey, buddy, are you ok?”
The Lion: “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Just a little stunned.”
D. Fish: “We’re really sorry about hitting you. What are you doing out here anyway?”
The Lion: “I’m off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz! He’s going to give me courage.”
D. Fish: “Courage? But you’re a lion. Don’t you already have courage?”
The Lion: “I’m big. I’m strong. Getting hit by a bus didn’t hurt me. But I’m timid. Heck, I’m not even mad that you guys hit me with your bus. The wizard’s going to teach me to be aggressive, to live with fire in my belly!”
D. Fish: “You know, that sounds like my young friend here - Andrew Bynum. Do you think the wizard could help him too?”
The Lion: “I suppose so.”
D. Fish: “Why don’t you join us? We’ll all go see the wizard together!”
Dr. Buss was up front playing strip poker with the Doublemint Twins. He’s such a good poker player, he still had on all his clothes. The Doublemint Twins, on the other hand – well, never mind…
Lamar Odom walked up the aisle to talk to Dr. Buss. “Dr. Buss”, he said. “Me and some of the guys are hungry. Can we stop somewhere and get some food?”
“Ah, Lamar”, he replied. “Can’t you see I’m busy? Just go ask Vitti for a Power Bar.” Lamar slunk off to the back of the bus.
A few minutes later, Kobe Bryant came to talk to Dr. Buss. “Jerry”, he said. “I’m hungry.” Dr. Buss leapt into action. “NICHOLSON”, he shouted. “STOP THE BUS IMMEDIATELY. KOBE’S HUNGRY”. The wheel’s screeched to a halt.
The bus stopped in front of a restaurant called “The Scarecrow Diner”. The players filed in and took seats. A funny looking Scarecrow with a straw hat came up to take their order - “New York style pizza” for Lamar, “steak and eggs” for Derek Fisher, “grits” for Javaris Crittendon, “ Pinkberry yogurt” for Jordan Farmar, “birthday cake” for Kwame Brown, “Crepe Susette” for Rony Turiaf, and “pancakes” for Kobe.
When Kobe ordered pancakes, the Scarecrow cringed. “Oh no”, said the Scarecrow, “The Big Short Order Cook likes to toss the pancakes onto plates from 15 feet away – and he never comes close!” Derek Fisher leaned toward Kobe and said: “you don’t think that’s…”, but he was interrupted by pancakes flying through the air and landing on Phil Jackson’s head. “Yep”, said Kobe, “that’s Shaq!”
The Scarecrow returned with the food, but got everything mixed up. He apologized and said: “I don’t have a brain. I’m always forgetting my assignments”. Phil laughed as he wiped pancake from his face and said “that’s just like these guys – I teach them the Triangle but when they get out on the court, it looks like a square!”
“And I’m always standing around watching, forgetting what I’m supposed to do!”, cried the Scarecrow.
Phil laughed again. “That’s just like these guys. They’re always standing around watching Kobe improvise!”
“Oh, I wish I could go see the Wizard. I hear he’s got a Blue Light special this month on brains!”
“Hey”, shouted the players in unison, “we’re off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz. Come with us. Maybe he’ll give us all brains!”
“Humphh”, Kobe said under his breath. “I already have brains. I scored 1080 on the SATs. Heck, I even speak Italian…”
At the end of the yellow brick road, the bus stopped in front of a giant purple and gold castle. We all filed off the bus and wandered over a drawbridge and moat and into a brightly lit hall. There were three doors leading out of the hall. The Lion stood in front of the first door; the Scarecrow stood in front of the second; and a Tin Man in front of the final door. There was an old hat perched on a stool at the front of the hall. It started to talk. By this point in my dream, nothing surprised me any more.
The hat called for Andrew Bynum to step forward and put the hat on his head. Almost immediately, it shouted, “Go with the lion – you need the courage to play aggressively every night!” Andrew looked a little like a deer caught in headlights, but he did what he was told.
Vladimir Radmanovic was next. When he placed the hat on his head, the hat burst out laughing. “You need a brain, dude. Follow the Scarecrow. And don’t trip on any ice on your way!”
The hat continued to sort the players. Farmar and Crittendon went with the Scarecrow. Sasha, the Lion. Brian Cook and Mo Evans, who had morphed into one lanky 6’ 8” dude, went with the Lion. Mihm, the Scarecrow to help him stay out of foul trouble. Kwame, the Scarecrow to develop an offensive game. Soon, all of the players were gone except Lamar Odom and Kobe Bryant. Interestingly, the hat hadn’t sent anyone off with the Tin Man.
The hat addressed Lamar first: “Lamar – you are one of the finest basketball players in the world. You have it all. Heart, brains, courage, skill. You are a great teammate. You hold yourself accountable. You play through pain. You share the ball. The Wizard has one simple message for you. It is an oft-quoted poem by Marianne Williamson. It is as if she wrote it for you”:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other
people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.
-Marianne Williamson
“Lamar”, the hat said, “this season, it is time for you to show the world that you are an All-World player. Go and let your light shine!”
“And now Mr. Bryant, the Wizard would like a personal word with you. Please follow the Tin Man. He’ll escort you to the Wizard who will teach you about playing basketball with your heart…”
Kobe looked stunned as the Tin Man led him away down a hallway. I followed a few steps behind so I could hear what was happening. “I have more heart than anyone on this team… I have more heart than anyone in the league… Hell, I have more heart than anyone in the world!” Kobe was having a bit of a problem with the concept that he needed a heart.
Who was this Wizard of Oz, I wondered? And what was he going to say to Kobe?
At the end of the hall, the Tin Man knocked on a wooden door. “Come in”, said a very old, very wise looking man, sitting behind a large wooden desk.
“Kobe”, he said. “I want you to listen to me for just 5 minutes. In that time, I can reveal the simple secret that will elevate you to the historic status you desire – the best player ever to play the game.”
Kobe started to protest but the Tin Man clasped an aluminum palm over his open mouth…
Kobe – you are the most talented basketball player on the planet. Everyone knows that. But so what? How often do scoring champions win NBA championships? You scored an amazing 81 points in a game. That may be the most unbelievable individual accomplishment of a basketball player ever, but so what? How many championships have you won without Shaq?
Basketball is a team sport and you will be judged by future generations on the success of your team. Remember the 2004 Pistons? Did they have more talent than your Lakers with Shaq, Gary Payton, and Karl Malone? Of course not. But they beat you handily. They were by far the better team.
For you to become the best player of all time, you need to become the best leader you can be. Share the ball. Show your teammates that you trust them. Pass up a shot if a teammate has a better one. Encourage the young players. Go out to lunch with them. Share your heart and soul with them.
You cannot accomplish your goals without them. You don’t need a new team or better teammates. You just need to be a a better teammate, a better leader.
In closing, I want you to remember this quote from an unknown source:
True leaders are not those who strive to be first but those who are first to strive and who give their all for the success of the team. True leaders are first to see the need, envision the plan, and empower the team for action. By the strength of the leader’s commitment, the power of the team is unleashed.
Now go out and claim your place in basketball history…
I woke up at that point and checked the calendar. Mid-December. The Lakers were 5 games over 500, on pace to win 50 games, in the thick of the playoff hunt in the Western Conference with a series of impressive victories over good teams. Perhaps the Wizard’s message had sunk in?
